When They Won’t Forgive

What do you do when you have genuinely repented for a sin or a situation, asked for forgiveness, and none is given? Instead you are met with sneers, scowls, eye roles and bitter rebukes? It happens in family and friendships all the time. And forgive me ahead of time for the next statement, but it seems some Christians may very well be the worst offenders. Many times the ones who have been forgiven the most are the ones who refuse to forgive others.

If Christians didn’t sin from time to time there would be no need for…
1 John 1:8–9 (NASB95) 8 If we say that we have no sin, we are deceiving ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

The issue is not that Jesus will always completely forgive us. The One who suffered the most was willing to forgive those to the uttermost who caused Him to shed His blood. The issue is some Christians may be the most un-Christ-like in this area more than any other.

Some church folk seem to be hell-bent on shooting their own wounded and walking away. Refusing genuine repentance and forgiving is a way the kill shot is made. From that point on you’re either dead to them or a constant point of contention.

What do you do when they won’t forgive?

You simply walk on. We cannot control the hearts and minds of other people. People who refuse to forgive another are no longer a part of your destiny. They have removed themselves from the purposes of God for your life and will not be able to participate in the blessings to come.

To take matters further, they have placed themselves in the precarious position of not being forgiven for their sins as well. Their prayers may very well become null and void before the Father. They open a door for the enemy to come into their lives and wreak havoc because they have sinned by refusing to forgive.
Matthew 6:14–15 (NASB95) 14 “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 “But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.

It is painful to have to admit that you sinned in some area. It is just as hurtful when those whom you desire to re-establish relationship reject your sincere apology with tears and anguish.

All you can do is pray for future restoration of fellowship and walk on in peace.
Romans 12:18 (NASB95) 18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.

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